Hater-A Manifesto

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This amuses me.

There have always been haters.

Hating was old before those two centurions made fun of the skinny Jewish guy on the cross. Hating was old when one triceratops commented on another triceratops’ big fat ass. Hating was old when the first amoeba made fun of the second amoeba’s demo tape. The universe runs on matter, energy, and negativity. It collapses empires, washes away seafront towns, and makes your girlfriend nitpick your silly ass outfit on the way to date night. You know, the one with the wide velvet lapels. No one looks good in that.

Hating is not criticism. Criticism, in a roundabout way, is a positive thing. In its purest form, criticism is a tool to help an artist grow and develop. Though criticism appears to be destructive, its intention is to help build. We don’t claim such lofty goals. We just dislike stuff. And we think you’re stupid for liking it.

If I may move from the esoteric to the practical: this is primarily a pop culture blog. I am aware we’re not exactly tilling new fields, but pop culture is so accessable and so very easy to make fun of. It’s like picking fistfights with your surly fourteen year old cousin Devin. Politics and social subjects will probably find their way here, but those bones have been picked clean by pundits much more skilled in hating than ourselves.

Hating is inherently destructive. It’s cheering the ship as it sinks, the fire as it burns. As a hater, we see the rot in all things and we embrace and revel in it. Like the Sith of old, we draw power from the corruption manifest in us and we bask in the light of our annihilation.

If you really want to pull back the curtain on our little magic show, you’d find that we actually like most of the stuff we rant about. We’re both enthusiastic devourers of geekdom. We were just born with the kind of brains that endlessly pick apart the things we enjoy, defining every little nugget of beauty and art by the shit staining it.

I think we all have a little goblin inside us, a disgusting verminal creep that we feed with our negative emotions. I am good friends with my goblin. We have tea regularly. We sit down and discuss trifles, trifles light as air. And I am building a buffet for him with this blog, and the main course is your indignation.

Enjoy.